When I came by to show Lisa and Rick their engagement pictures, the very first thing I noticed about their home was the seriously amazing sasquatch sculpture on their front lawn. They told me how a neighbor had a similar, rather large one and was urged by the community to take it down, so they got theirs and proudly displayed it in solidarity.
This is amazing. As we shared stories, they brought me the book “In Me Own Words: The Autobiography of Bigfoot” by Graham Roumieu. I love that they have this book, and I cracked up reading it while they chose the images for their album.
And so I invited a guest contributor to the blog today: Bigfoot (with apologies to Graham Roumieu). If you haven’t read the book yet, this will make no sense whatsoever. If you’re not a fan of the book, you can just glance through these pictures real quick. This is for Lisa and Rick, because even though I just met them, I love them and it makes me happy to make them laugh. This is Lisa and Rick’s engagement story at PINS Mechanical, through Bigfoot’s big, brown, mysterious eyes…
Lisa and Rick – in Bigfoot own words
Why you have to win at cards always, Rick? Why you not give Lisa chance? If Rick really love Lisa, he let her win once in while. That what Bigfoot friend say. She say, “Bigfoot, let birdie win the wrestle. He little.” Screw birdie. Bigfoot good at wrestle.
Why you always so smiling Rick and Lisa? What this “happiness” thing people talk about? Bigfoot never happy in tiny bowling alley. You say “duck pin bowling,” me say “stupid small bowling ball, and where the duck? Bigfoot hungry.”
You bring whole family to bowling. Teenagers too. Me understand teenagers. Just want be left alone sometimes. These teenagers smiling and bowling. Must love you. Bigfoot no understand. Again, why ball so tiny? Why roll tiny ball when Bigfoot can smash pins one stomp? Or throw kids down lane? Knock pins down one try.
Bigfoot no understand what they call “whatever hand.” It mean whatever? When Bigfoot mad about bowling score, me eat competition. But you give whatever hand. Whatever.
Bigfoot hug best friend once. Crush best friend. But not on purpose. Best friend make it. In hospital for days. Bigfoot cry in sleep. Go to hugging class. They say, “Hug gentle, Bigfoot.” Me practice with balloon. Every time, balloon pop in Bigfoot face. Dammit. Could learn to hug from you. Look at you in picture – so huggy and not so crushy.
Bigfoot play pinball one time. Machine keep lighting up and yelling at Bigfoot. Can’t keep ball in play! Tilt alert – WTF? So angry! Bigfoot smash pinball and throw to floor. Take that, stupid pinball machine. Humans play pinball without smashing. Very concentrating. Me think that better way. No tilt alert.
Rick, Lisa, teenagers, why you like foosball? I know you make boys play one-arm after this – they still win. Look, Lisa, foosball make you flip birdie. Make me think of my friend birdie. Birdie never win wrestle. Next time, I wrestle him one-foot. Bigfoot still win.
Rick. Finally you let Lisa win. Or Lisa win. Or Lisa pretend to win. Any way, victory Lisa! Bigfoot raise arms in celebration, but bash hole in ceiling. Go Lisa! And Rick. Lisa love Rick. Rick love Lisa. Bigfoot love ducks. Go eat some now.
A note from Sarah: You guys, I NEVER get a green check on readability – always yellow. This is the first time I got the green. I am puzzled, and it’s going to be hard not to forever invite Bigfoot back as a guest contributor.
Lisa and Rick – I love you, and so does Bigfoot. Can hardly wait for your wedding day!!!!! Thank you for being the kind of awesomely laid back people that make me feel comfortable writing your blog post in Bigfoot’s voice!
Want more pinball? Here’s another fun pinball engagement session in Chicago!
Want me to write your blog post in Bigfoot’s voice? Tell me all about it over here!